Why is the church discontent with my singleness???

Dear church,
I love you to pieces and am so so so grateful for all of the support and love you've given me over the years. You raised me and watched me grow up, you sent me to college and welcomed me home summers and weekends. You've let me work with your children and youth. You prayed for me and sent cards and e-mails while I was in Thailand. However, through that all I have one question for you: Why are you discontent with my singleness???

I'll be the first to admit I never imagined myself at 25 and still single. However, this is what God has called me to at this time in my life. You tell me you are proud of me for what I'm doing and what I've done. I can only do what I'm doing at this point in my life because of my singleness. I don't have another person to worry about and another life to plan around, so I'm able to put that time and energy into things that God is calling me to do. However, that doesn't stop you from sending me names of eligible bachelors, or telling me of your sons, grandsons, co-workers, friends of friends, etc... that you are just certain will be THE ONE for me. I appreciate the help really, but let me give you a glimpse of my heart, the heart of other single people and what you are telling us when you are uncomfortable with our singleness.

I was talking to another single never been dated Christian just the other day and we agreed on so many points and had similar stories of things people in the church have said/done about our singleness. So, on behalf of the people like me that God has called to be single for a time to serve Him I'm writing this.

1. This is 2013, not 1950. In case you haven't noticed, times have changed. When you graduated at 18 it wasn't expected that you go to college and get a job to be able to support yourself before getting married like it is today. The average age that people get married at has gone up significantly over the years.

2. Have you looked at the divorce rates lately??? I haven't, but I know they are high both in and out of the church. Speaking for the divorce rate in the church could it be that high because the parents and grandparents are pushing their children to find THE ONE and get married by the time they are out of college. I can't tell you the number of times I have received comments such as such a pretty young Christian girl and still single, you would think someone would have snatched you up by now... Am I like a fish in the river waiting for an Eagle to come down and grab me and say "You're the one?"

3. I've had to work hard to find contentment in being single. Do you really think this is something I chose for myself??? One of my greatest desires is to get married and have a family. Anyone who really knows me will know this. So, do you think it comes easy to be content with the assignment of singleness for a few years to serve God? This is the result of HOURS and HOURS of praying and submission to my Father. I don't understand it anymore than you do. However, I do know that God asked me to be content being single till I'm 30 and to use this time for Him to serve His children here and overseas. Does that mean I'll be single till I'm 30? Maybe, maybe not. However, I have a promise to God to be content until then. As I said, this contentedness doesn't come easy, it is a daily struggle that is only made worse when good meaning people ask about it or try to set me up with someone.

4. Young single people have so much more time to serve God than people who are dating or married. When you are dating or married, you have a commitment to that other person to spend time with them, to do things with them, and then once you have children your time to give to others is even further diminished. I'm able to take that extra time and invest it in people. When I was in college I was able to invest my time in His House, on the welcome team, and leading lifegroups and spending time with people. Then, I was able to give 27 months to the Peace Corps and loving on the kids in my village. Now, I'm able to take 6 months off to refresh myself and volunteer doing different things for the church, and spend time with different people investing in their lives. Then, come September I'll move back to Thailand and teach at a Christian school and invest in the lives of refugees and children in poverty. Being single for a few more years seems like a small price to pay for the time and energy I'm able to put into investing in others. Can you be happy for me that I have the opportunity to do these things??? Imagine, the impact we could have on the community and world if we encouraged our young people to spend a few years single serving God before tying the knot. I think it would be incredible and the world wouldn't know what hit them.

5. Someone else pointed this one out to me. Look at Jesus, Paul and Mother Teresa. If I thought of it I could come up with more to add to the list, but what do they all have in common??? Yup, they were single and were able to use their lives to serve others and put others first for God. I hope that it doesn't become a lifelong thing for me, but if it does, those are great people to follow after.

6. Who do you want to be role models for your children??? Someone who is honoring God through singleness or someone who changes their significant other more often than they change the oil in their car??? I know what I would choose, but I guess that ones up to you.

I could keep going, I have many many more points I could share, but I think you understand by now. Your discontentedness with singles being in the church doesn't really make sense. Do you want to set the youth of the church up for failure or success in relationships??? I know these extra years I've had to be single have taught me so much about myself and the world around me. I'm a different person and I'm looking for a different type of man to marry now than I was when I was 18. I've grown up and my relationship with God has only become stronger in this time because I've had to depend on Him more and more as I've gone through and experienced the things I have over the years. I wouldn't give up any of it because I know I'm following His path and that He has plans for my life.

If you want to know what you can do for myself and other single members of the church here is a life of suggestions:

• pray for us and our someday spouses as we are using this time to serve God until we meet
• encourage us
• ask us to do things, we have lots of time that we can use to bless others
• singleness isn't contagious, don't treat us like it is
• don't try to set us up with every single person of the opposite sex you know, allow God to do the matchmaking in His timing
• love us for who we are where we are